Can a Fish Climb a Tree.?
- Miles Hall, M.A. LMFTA, MHP
- Mar 26, 2017
- 3 min read
During the course of my work I've been inspired & informed by some of the bravest, strongest, most resilient people that I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.
Many of my clients' report numerous factors contribute to the distorted views of their relationship dynamics including: past abuse (physical, emotional, sexual), substance /alcohol/ drug use, chronic injury or disability, past issues of infidelity, trust, skill levels at communication and problem-solving, among others.
Arriving from every walk of life my clients represent those willing to take responsibility for their actions, and accountability for their lives. They are redefining themselves as they RISE through the pain(s) of the past while embracing future possibilities.
Some of the work my clients and I do has revealed an emerging pattern which suggests that many of the assumptions, expectations and meanings clients assigned to relationship roles, expectations, (needs) around intimacy and connection, were distorted.
Many clients have stated, "they find it really difficult at times to clearly hear, solicit, or understand their partners intentions, level of connection or commitment."
They (clients), are often left wondering, "is it me, is it my partner, am I crazy, are they crazy, what can I do better, should I even care?" It is within their voices this analogy resides; positioned as a question."Can a fish climb a tree?"
Of course fish don't climb trees. Any clear minded, rational person understands that this notion is just not possible, or is it.? Relationships can present such a complex quandary, so unsettling at times because we cannot resign ourselves to a singular perspective (usually our own), reality, then move on.
Additionally, injury can result when the manner in which we attempt to communicate fails,often resulting in disconnect, feeling of rejection and resentment.
Has the distortion within your relationship(s) led you to question yourself or your partner? Much of the frustration and escalations clients report stems from repeated failed attempts to connect or resolve.
If you or your partner have checked out, or need conflict resolution or clarity around any issue, reach out to me. miles@cachealthwa.org
Its well documented that the resulting tension, stress, disinterest, disengagement and emotional abandonment can be devastating; gateways to verbal and/or physical abuse.
Find peace through acceptance of self & by owning your reality; your truth. Are your expectations of self, and of your partner within collective capability or skill? Do you need more tools? I can help with that.
It matters because as human beings survival and the desire to choose is innate. By the way, this is true for most living things, adaptability and change are deeply personal and often driven by the need to survive.
I've stated before that, "What defines us is how well we RISE after falling. I believe in change. I believe that human beings are capable of transformative growth, if they are willing to look at their lives and learn to live in its possibilities."
So, how bad do you want the change you seek? Fish do climb trees by the way. When its about surviving....
The Quantum Biologist seems to support this assertion describing; the Mangrove Killifish, and others as undertaking a remarkable transformation during the dry season.
"Their physiology changes: instead of breathing through their gills, they breathe (and excrete waste) through their skin. They can stay that way, a literal fish out of water, for over two months, just waiting in the trees for rain to come."
If you come to realize that you have distortion in your relationship around needs for intimacy and expectations around partnership then now is the time for you to reach out. Register for services online here.
Contact me at (253)777-9782 x 700
Mangrove Killifish info courtesy: the Quantum Biologist https://quantumbiologist.wordpress.com/2011/01/28/the-fish-that-climb-trees/
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